The teenage dilemma

 

sky

“There are no stars in the sky to brighten my way,

For as many friends I have I always feel alone.

What is it worth to have the house key to enter,

(…)?

[Refrain] The springtime of life is pretty of living,

So fast the sun shines as to follow it is raining.

For me today it is January, it is so cold that cracks,

It seems that the entire world joined to conspire against me!

 

I spend hours in the Cafe, without knowing where to go,

Everything around me is so ugly, I only feel like running away.

I see myself at night in the mirror, the body always changing,

At morning I hear the advice that the old Dad has to give me.

[Refrain] Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu, hu-hu-hu-hu-hu.

I wander around secretly, to watch the windows,

Lost in the avenues and found in the side streets.

Mother, my first love was a trapeze without a net,

Get out of the way, please, I’m between the sword and the wall.

 

Don’t you see how that is hard? To be young is not a rank!

To have to face the future with pimples in the face.

Why is it all so uncertain? It can’t be always this way!

If it wasn’t the Rock and Roll, what would become of me?”

 

Rui Veloso

 

teenagers

How difficult, how hard, how sometimes excruciating is being a teenager! How confusing are those sudden crisis of Identity that come out of nowhere whithout any apparent reason. How complicated is to try a reasonable way through that maze of  intricated arguments.

When I was a young girl, I used to have these inflamed speeches about how parents should treat and educate children as peers. My mom used to answer: “Let it be… When you have your own children, you’ll see how it is!” Today, I understand that I was wrong – a mother is a mother and a father is a father. There must be boundaries, respect and responsability.

I’ve had thousands of teenagers in my teaching career; each with his own different life, different problems and different answers. I managed to solve everything through an open dialogue, the strategy of Active Listening and an assertive attitude.

But being a teenager is questioning authority. It is natural and “proper”; it is part of the process of developping an healthy social relationship – like the young wolves defying the old ones to see who gets the Alpha position. Teenagers think that they know everything and that they are ready to face the challenges of an adult life.  The world is changing, though. The dangers of our days are not the same we faced twenty years ago. How many times do I remember, with only eight years old, walking in the streets of my hometown, to meet my mother at her job? Who ever could do that now? Not even an adult, sometimes.

Being a teenager is being a rebel by nature. A little bit of insatisfaction gives it a special charm. No matter how much they are entitled to, how many priviledges they have, they want more, always more.  There is always a reason, but something that they can’t or won’t explain. My son, for example, was complaining today about something that I didn’t let him do. When I asked “What did you ask me to do and I didn’t let you?”, he answered “I don’t know!” Then I asked “But what would you like to do?” he answered, once more, “I don’t know!” I don’t know, he said, is when the teenager can’t think about what to say.

So, does this riddle have a solution?

There are excellent theories of psychologists and teachers about the teenage years. But who can best explain what is being a teenager than a teenager?…

Thank you to my son for his help in this post.

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5 Responses to “The teenage dilemma”

  1. Uncle Tree Says:

    I won’t even talk about my teenage exploits.
    Not at this time. Maybe, never. Perhaps,
    when the kids are grown. Then I will tell them
    to hide my written adventures from the grandkids
    until they too have come of age. Is that fair?

    My daughter is 14.5 years of age. I am in the thick of it.
    Last night she said, “I will have my learner’s permit
    by the end of the year.” So I said, and will continue to say,
    “Not so fast. Stop right there.” She’ll have to get a job.
    “I know. I know.” That’s her current answer to everything
    I say. I’ve tried to teach her that “I will. I will.” is better,
    but I still have to ask “When?”. “Right after I…” Whatever.

    Rock on, sister! And good luck to boot, to you and your son.

  2. Dear Uncle Tree, I surely understand that. My son sometimes tells me that he wants to stop studying and get a job. And I ask him “What are you going to do, without a proper training?” I never insisted that he went to the University, but whatever he choses, he must have the knowledge and skills to do, otherwise he will be just one more unemployed or exploited worker in this world. It’s tough, but your daughter certainly will thank you for your efforts in the future.
    My son was here smiling. He said “Uncle Tree’s daughter says: I know, I know!” and I say “I don’t know, I don’t know!”
    Thank you for your excellent comment.

  3. Uncle Tree Says:

    Hey, Silvia!

    You got me to thinking about legends such as M.J.,
    and teaching, so I put together a new piece.
    Hope you like it. It’s my answer to “I don’t know.”

    Have a great day! Bye

  4. Я не тороплюсь домой
    Позволь позабыть обо всем
    Небо роняет звезды как слезы

  5. Узнай об имени правду ! Любые имена есть на этом сайте!!

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